Since You're Gone
by TheJuicyDangler
Summary: I had forgotten what it was like to miss him. See within for more details and whatnot. Apologies for horrid title/summary, I swear the story is better. Rated T for language.


_**A/N**__: Only warning I can give you is that of possible errors, be they grammatical or otherwise. In my defence, it's *checks time* 2:50AM and I literally wrote this half an hour ago because my brain wouldn't shut up. Decided I may as well get it typed and posted before going to sleep because I like to do things properly. :P  
>This particular fic can be pictured with any pairing, but in my head it was AkuDemy. Keep that in mind.<br>Enjoy, and fair winds to you, dear readers! *passes out.*_

It hurt, seeing him again after all these years. He walked right by me as if we never even knew each other. The feeling was strangling me, taking hold of me and tightening, its grip never faltering. I knew this feeling. It felt like a vital part of my mental stability had just been knocked down – no, utterly obliterated. I needed him so much, even after all this time apart, but I knew he didn't need me. Nor did he want me. In fact, he hadn't even looked at me.

We hadn't spoken in over two years, but I still thought about him every fucking day. About how he used to hold me, just for the sake of touching me; about how he would tell me how beautiful I was and how much he loved me; about how he would carry me around and laugh with me and kiss me, and then tuck me into bed at night and whisper sweet nothings to me.  
>About how much it hurt when he left me. How angry I was when he told me he had to move away and that I couldn't come with him. How much I cried when I realised the he didn't love me as much as he claimed, and that our whole time together had been a beautiful lie, all wrapped up in a ribbon of my own delusion.<p>

I didn't want to accept it at first. I just assumed it was some horrid dream that I was having trouble waking up from. That's when the suicide attempts started. I thought if I killed myself in this world, then I would wake up in the real world with him next to me, the scent of his hair and the warmth of his skin right there near me again.  
>But this wasn't so.<br>Despite everything I trusted him with, despite the blissful relationship we shared and despite the fact that he knew it would send me tumbling into a severe downward spiral, he still left without a trace. He never told me where he was going, nor when he was going. I simply woke up one morning to see that he had completely disappeared; taken all of his belongings (and some of mine) and just gone. I tried to contact him, of course, to tell him how much I needed him with me, to tell him just how much this had affected me (I ended up in hospital, you see. Three failed suicide attempts. A history of severe depression will do that to you, especially when gone untreated) but he ignored my calls and eventually changed his number. That's when I knew I had to give up. If not for the sake of his sanity, then for what was left of my own. Which wasn't a lot, at this point.

It took more than a year of rehabilitation but I finally ended up being able to function like a normal human again, without the overbearing need to have him with me. I would still think of him occasionally, but he was more of a distant and fond memory rather than a catalyst for self destruction. Therapy helps quite a bit, don't you know.

Of course, none of this mattered now because he was right there, within touching distance, and I couldn't keep my eyes off of him. My brain was telling me it would lead to more trouble, but my heart couldn't resist. He was like my drug, and I was going to have one hell of a relapse if something didn't stop me soon.  
>Luckily, something did stop me.<br>My self control finally managed to man up and made me turn the fuck around and sprint out of that shop faster than a bat out of hell before I could do anything stupid.  
>It took a few minutes for what I had just done to sink in. I had listened to me. The good me. The smart me.<br>I finally let go.  
>I was finally free.<p>

And I accidentally stole a pair of shoes.


End file.
